When I turned 14 my dad took me out to a nice restaurant and gave me a purity ring. We prayed together, and I made a vow. I vowed that I would remain pure. To many people "purity" means saving sex for marriage. To me, purity means so much more. Not only did I vow to save myself for marriage, I vowed not to date. Through this vow, I have been immensely blessed. Let me explain.
In our culture dating has become accepted. It's used for recreation, finding a mate, and building relationships. I believe that dating has become so accepted that it is rarely questioned. Even within the church we have "pure dating doctrine" and we set down rules about how to date correctly. Christian teens are taught that if they follow these "pure dating rules" they will, by default, remain pure. They believe that if they don't cross "the line" they are not sinning. I have even heard that each person's "line" is different and that we each need to prayerfully decide where to draw that "line". If the person you're dating tries to cross "your line", you should quickly explain to them that they're approaching your line and you're uncomfortable. Does any of this sound familiar? If it does, you have probably heard some of the "pure dating doctrine".
I have a huge problem with this doctrine. I believe that it is a way to compromise with the world's way of doing things. Something is either right, or it's wrong. It's either pure, or it's not. When you must be taught "how to participate in this purely", chances are it's not a pure practice. To be taught how to date purely is like being taught how to drink as much as you can without getting drunk. As Christ's people, shouldn't we be abstaining from the world's practices- especially in such an important area as finding a husband or wife- and doing things God's way? If so, let's take a look at what the Bible has to say about dating. While I believe that many of these ideas can be applied to girls and guys, I'd like to specifically speak to my sisters in Christ.
First, in case there is any doubt, let me establish that we are supposed to be different.
Titus 2:13-15 Looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a peculiar people, zealous for good deeds. These things speak and exhort and reprove with all authority. Let no one disregard you.
1 Pet 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.
Matt 5:13a,14 You are the salt of the earth...you are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.
We are to be a peculiar people, a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, the salt of the earth, the light of the world, and a city set on a hill. We are to be very different from the world. As we have commonly come to say, "We are in the world, but not of it."
Now I would like to show you some passages that have convicted me in my decision not to date. Perhaps the most cherished passage to many Christian women of all ages is that of the Proverbs 31 woman. She is an example to all of us. She is exactly what we strive, everyday, to be. I would like to look specifically at verse 12:
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
"All the days of her life." It doesn't say, "after she's married to him" or "when she knows he's the one she will marry." It says that she, this beautiful example to Christian women, does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. This is something that I recently discovered. I am to do good for my future husband even now. What I do at this time in my life can lead to his shame, or to his glory.
I can picture a beautiful wedding day. As the preacher says, "You may now kiss your bride.", the groom leans forward to kiss her. As he's kissing his new wife, at probably one of the most wonderful moments in his life, the best man remembers his first date...with the bride. Two young men in the audience, both now married, distinctly remember their first kiss...with the bride.
That picture saddens me. But it's something that I'm sure happens often. Through her dating, this bride brought her husband dishonor- even if he never knew it.
So many girls choose to date, and date some more. After they break up with one boy, they find another. And so on and so forth. Dating becomes an emotional roller coaster where girls are focusing on one boy this month, another next month. Their energy goes into catching his interest, and then into keeping him interested. This kind of energy is meant to be saved for one man. Instead, many girls choose to use most of it up on their Christian sisters' future husbands.
I often hear that we have the "right" to date as many guys as we can to make sure we choose the right one. What?! I don't understand why any girl would believe that she has the right to practice on other young ladies' future husbands. Furthermore, that a girl would think she has the right to place a claim on any young man she chooses. She calls him (it eventually becomes "them" as break-ups occur) her "boyfriend" and then claims him as "hers". Why do we, in this society, believe it's OK to claim someone before we're betrothed or married? That "boyfriend" is very likely someone else's future husband, and I, for one, do not like the idea of another girl placing a claim on my future husband.
Now I would like to look at a different passage. Most of you will agree that divorce is wrong.
Mal 2:16a "For I hate divorce," says the Lord, the God of Israel...
Bear with me for a minute. I realize that breaking up, within the practice of dating, is different from divorce. But I like analogies. And I bleieve that the things we train ourselves to do in our youth stick with us. Habits we form are often hard to break. When we participate in something, we need to look at the long term effects.
Dating prepares us for divorce. Why? Because we get into our heads that we can date a guy, then when we get tired of him or "it doesn't work out", we can dump him. Many girls go through 2,3,4 or more boyfriends in their teen years. No matter how "serious" the relationship was, it was easy to get out of. Each break up numbs us to the seriousness of giving our hearts away again. It will be that much easier to give up on marriage- which is a terrible sin. Why numb yourself to sin?
Matt 26:41 Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into tempation; the spirit is wililng, but the flesh is weak.
Here is yet another reason why I'm thankful for my vow not to date. Temptation is set in front of me often. I can say from experience that even when you're "just friends" with a guy, it's sometimes hard to keep your feelings in check. Besides this kind of tempation, sin is set in front of me daily in many forms. Life is hard enough as it is. How could someone purposely place themself into the kind of situation where sexual tempation is rampant? Just as Matthew 26:41 says, the flesh is weak. I do not wish to place myself into a situation where I could so easily stumble. Not only have I been able to keep myself from situations where I'd be tempted sexually, I have been given protection from having my heart broken.
1 Cor 15:33 Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."
Rom 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.
From these two verses I gather that we, as Christians, are to prefer one another's company over that of the world. The teen years are a great time to nurture friendships with Christian brothers and sisters alike. Time after time, I have seen dating get in the way of these friendships. There are several reasons.
First, often any attention given to a teen by the opposite sex is seen as romantic interest. Friends quickly turn into boyfriend and girlfriend and things are never the same. What happens after the break up? Things are different. What could be a wonderful friendship turns into a romantic relationship too quickly, often stopping two people from achieving the friendship they were meant to have.
Second, when dating enters a circle of friends, people become exclusive. I have had several friends who, after entering a dating relationship, dumped the rest of their friends to focus on their date. And for what? None of these friends ended up marrying the young men and women that they gave up their friends for. Was it worth it? Friendships are stronger when everyone isn't thinking about who's dating who, or who dated who.
Christian friendships are wonderful things. We can strengthen and challenge one another in our walks with Christ. I have been blessed with many friendships with Christian brothers and sisters. If dating does not enter the scene, there is more time to nurture true friendship. If we aren't focused on dating, everyone can be included and loved. I feel that I have a certain responsibility to my brothers in Christ. I am not to cause them to stumble. I should encourage them in their purity, and not seek for them to notice me exclusively.
I have a younger brother. I expect certain things from him. One thing I expect is that he guards the emotional purity of his sisters in Christ, which is great training in spiritual leadership. It would be wrong for him to choose a specific girl and get her emotions worked up because of him. If anything, he should be encouraging her to focus on Jesus Christ and to prepare herself for her future husband. Our Christian brothers are powerful in helping us guard our purity. Yet, through dating, many of them have helped us to lose emotional purity without even realizing it.
Inevitably, when I voice my views on dating, someone will ask, "Then how will you find a husband?" My answer is this: I will not find a husband. God has plans for my future, but right now I have no idea if those plans include marriage. If God does plan for me to marry, I have faith in Him. I serve the God who created the earth. I serve the God who created woman from man's rib. I serve the God who formed me within my mother's womb. I serve the God who loved me so much that He sent His Son to die to take my sins away. So I would like to ask those who doubt that I'll be able to get married without dating, "Do you believe the God I serve is limited to dating? Or do you believe He can give me a husband without it?" I have no doubt that my God can write my love story perfectly, without me getting in the way.
I have placed before you a few of my reasons not to date. In conclusion, I challenge you to show me if you can find any Scriptural evidence for dating. Examine it for yourself. Dating is a practice that has spread across our society and enslaved our youth. Many young people, some as young as 11 and 12, are caught up in the dating game and they don't even realize that it's not the only way. We are so blinded by the practice of dating that we limit God to its boundaries and we strive to purify an impure practice. Please do not limit God in your love story- He probably has something much better in mind for you.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Supporters of Life Continue to Step Up...
http://christianpost.com/Society/Ethics_rights/2009/02/seven-states-seek-personhood-rights-for-pre-born-21/index.html (bolded text added by yours truly ;) )
As part of a renewed pro-life strategy to challenge Roe v. Wade, lawmakers in seven states are working toward legislation to grant constitutional rights to human embryos.
The Montana Senate held a hearing on the personhood bill on Thursday.
On Wednesday, North Dakota representatives passed H.R. 1572 with a vote of 51-41. The measure now goes to the ND Senate for review.
Rep. Dan Ruby, who sponsored the N.D. measure, said the legislation did not automatically ban abortion, reported the Associated Press.
The ND bill states: "For purposes of interpretation of the constitution and laws of North Dakota, it is the intent of the legislative assembly that an individual, a person, when the context indicates that a reference to an individual is intended, or a human being includes any organism with the genome of homo sapiens."
Grassroots support helped to pass the bill, according Personhood USA, a grassroots Christian organization, which reported that thousands of pro-life advocates called legislators in support of the measure.
"North Dakotans have gotten used to cold temperatures like -44 degrees, but they haven't gotten used to child-killing," commented Cal Zastrow of Personhood USA, who helped organize grassroots support for the bill.
In Oregon, pro-life advocates have also begun a petition drive to place a person amendment before voters in 2010. A similar effort is expected to be launched in Mississippi in coming weeks.
Last year, Colorado became the first state to vote on a personhood amendment. The proposed measure, which defined a fertilized egg as a person in the state, was defeated during the November election.
According to Personhood USA, these efforts aim to fill the "Blackmun Hole" in Roe v. Wade. Justice Harry Blackmun wrote in the 1973 Supreme Court decision that if it were established that the pre-born is a person, the argument for abortion collapses.
"Personhood efforts raise the standard of what it is to be pro-life. We expect that as the understanding that all humans are people spreads, the injustice of abortion will end," said Keith Mason of Personhood USA.
Judie Brown, president of American Life League, has said the personhood movement marks a monumental shift in pro-life legislation of the past 20 years.
"It strikes at the root of the culture of death and discusses life issues in their true context – as the foundation of all civil rights issues," she said earlier this month.
As part of a renewed pro-life strategy to challenge Roe v. Wade, lawmakers in seven states are working toward legislation to grant constitutional rights to human embryos.
The Montana Senate held a hearing on the personhood bill on Thursday.
On Wednesday, North Dakota representatives passed H.R. 1572 with a vote of 51-41. The measure now goes to the ND Senate for review.
Rep. Dan Ruby, who sponsored the N.D. measure, said the legislation did not automatically ban abortion, reported the Associated Press.
The ND bill states: "For purposes of interpretation of the constitution and laws of North Dakota, it is the intent of the legislative assembly that an individual, a person, when the context indicates that a reference to an individual is intended, or a human being includes any organism with the genome of homo sapiens."
Grassroots support helped to pass the bill, according Personhood USA, a grassroots Christian organization, which reported that thousands of pro-life advocates called legislators in support of the measure.
"North Dakotans have gotten used to cold temperatures like -44 degrees, but they haven't gotten used to child-killing," commented Cal Zastrow of Personhood USA, who helped organize grassroots support for the bill.
In Oregon, pro-life advocates have also begun a petition drive to place a person amendment before voters in 2010. A similar effort is expected to be launched in Mississippi in coming weeks.
Last year, Colorado became the first state to vote on a personhood amendment. The proposed measure, which defined a fertilized egg as a person in the state, was defeated during the November election.
According to Personhood USA, these efforts aim to fill the "Blackmun Hole" in Roe v. Wade. Justice Harry Blackmun wrote in the 1973 Supreme Court decision that if it were established that the pre-born is a person, the argument for abortion collapses.
"Personhood efforts raise the standard of what it is to be pro-life. We expect that as the understanding that all humans are people spreads, the injustice of abortion will end," said Keith Mason of Personhood USA.
Judie Brown, president of American Life League, has said the personhood movement marks a monumental shift in pro-life legislation of the past 20 years.
"It strikes at the root of the culture of death and discusses life issues in their true context – as the foundation of all civil rights issues," she said earlier this month.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Victory for Babies in North Dakota
http://www.standardnewswire.com/news/22733892.html
-North Dakota Personhood Bill Passes, First in US History
Contact: Keith Mason, 202-595-3500
BISMARK, ND, Feb 18 /Standard Newswire/ -- Signaling the growing momentum of the personhood movement, North Dakota lawmakers approved HB 1572 with a vote of 51-41.
Rep. Dan Ruby introduced the "Personhood" bill, which affirms the rights of pre-born humans and states: "For purposes of interpretation of the constitution and laws of North Dakota, it is the intent of the legislative assembly that an individual, a person, when the context indicates that a reference to an individual is intended, or a human being includes any organism with the genome of homo sapiens."
Thousands of calls to legislators were made by pro-life grassroots volunteers who helped with this victory. Only one representative voiced opposition to the bill during the debate of the bill, while overwhelming public support was seen.
"Personhood USA applauds the leadership and support that the North Dakota Life League and North Dakota Family Alliance have shown to make this victory happen," stated Keith Mason of Personhood USA. He continued, "We thank Rep. Dan Ruby for his courage and for being actively pro-life. This great family man with his wife and 10 children are an example to us all."
"North Dakotans have gotten used to cold temperatures like -44 degrees, but they haven't gotten used to child-killing. We applaud and support their efforts to protect every baby by love and by law," commented Cal Zastrow, who, along with his family, worked on the North Dakota bill at the grassroots level.
The next step for HB 1572 is to be voted on by the ND Senate which could happen in the next two weeks.
"HB 1572 brings us one step closer to applying the same laws that apply to you and me, to all humans," said Daniel Woodard, lobbyist with North Dakota Life League.
Personhood USA is a grassroots Christian organization founded to establish personhood efforts across America to create protection for every child by love and by law. Personhood USA is committed to assisting and supporting Personhood Legislation and Constitutional Amendments and building local pro-life organizations through raising awareness of the personhood of the pre-born.
For Interviews please call 202-595-3500
For More Information please visit
Personhood USA
www.personhoodusa.com
Personhood North Dakota
www.personhoodnorthdakota.com
North Dakota Policy Council
www.ndfa.org -
Now that we have someone in the White House who is willing to overlook the murder of children, Americans are really going to have to decide where they stand. In fact, I'm beginning to think that Obama might be good for the pro-life movement in some ways. Maybe people need someone to stand against in order to really be willing to stand at all.
While we as a country bury ourselves further in debt and worry about "global warming", babies are being mercilessly slaughtered. We kill our children and then we wonder why there are so many problems. A nation that murders its own isn't headed in a good direction.
Yesterday morning I checked my e-mail to find an update from Personhood USA. The above article is what I found. I honestly didn't know what to do. After Ammendment 48in Colorado failed, I was greatly discouraged. When I read that e-mail, it was a wake up call for me. To me it said that God lives and He cares for the babies. He hears the prayers of His people. If God cares even for the sparrows, of course He cares for these beautiful innocent children whose silent screams are being ignored by our nation. But not everyone in our nation is ignoring them. North Dakota is an example to every other state. They have taken a huge step forward in the war for our children.
-North Dakota Personhood Bill Passes, First in US History
Contact: Keith Mason, 202-595-3500
BISMARK, ND, Feb 18 /Standard Newswire/ -- Signaling the growing momentum of the personhood movement, North Dakota lawmakers approved HB 1572 with a vote of 51-41.
Rep. Dan Ruby introduced the "Personhood" bill, which affirms the rights of pre-born humans and states: "For purposes of interpretation of the constitution and laws of North Dakota, it is the intent of the legislative assembly that an individual, a person, when the context indicates that a reference to an individual is intended, or a human being includes any organism with the genome of homo sapiens."
Thousands of calls to legislators were made by pro-life grassroots volunteers who helped with this victory. Only one representative voiced opposition to the bill during the debate of the bill, while overwhelming public support was seen.
"Personhood USA applauds the leadership and support that the North Dakota Life League and North Dakota Family Alliance have shown to make this victory happen," stated Keith Mason of Personhood USA. He continued, "We thank Rep. Dan Ruby for his courage and for being actively pro-life. This great family man with his wife and 10 children are an example to us all."
"North Dakotans have gotten used to cold temperatures like -44 degrees, but they haven't gotten used to child-killing. We applaud and support their efforts to protect every baby by love and by law," commented Cal Zastrow, who, along with his family, worked on the North Dakota bill at the grassroots level.
The next step for HB 1572 is to be voted on by the ND Senate which could happen in the next two weeks.
"HB 1572 brings us one step closer to applying the same laws that apply to you and me, to all humans," said Daniel Woodard, lobbyist with North Dakota Life League.
Personhood USA is a grassroots Christian organization founded to establish personhood efforts across America to create protection for every child by love and by law. Personhood USA is committed to assisting and supporting Personhood Legislation and Constitutional Amendments and building local pro-life organizations through raising awareness of the personhood of the pre-born.
For Interviews please call 202-595-3500
For More Information please visit
Personhood USA
www.personhoodusa.com
Personhood North Dakota
www.personhoodnorthdakota.com
North Dakota Policy Council
www.ndfa.org -
Now that we have someone in the White House who is willing to overlook the murder of children, Americans are really going to have to decide where they stand. In fact, I'm beginning to think that Obama might be good for the pro-life movement in some ways. Maybe people need someone to stand against in order to really be willing to stand at all.
While we as a country bury ourselves further in debt and worry about "global warming", babies are being mercilessly slaughtered. We kill our children and then we wonder why there are so many problems. A nation that murders its own isn't headed in a good direction.
Yesterday morning I checked my e-mail to find an update from Personhood USA. The above article is what I found. I honestly didn't know what to do. After Ammendment 48in Colorado failed, I was greatly discouraged. When I read that e-mail, it was a wake up call for me. To me it said that God lives and He cares for the babies. He hears the prayers of His people. If God cares even for the sparrows, of course He cares for these beautiful innocent children whose silent screams are being ignored by our nation. But not everyone in our nation is ignoring them. North Dakota is an example to every other state. They have taken a huge step forward in the war for our children.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I'm considered racist...
because I don't support Obama.
It is a historic day. I'm not shallow enough to dismiss the fact that having a black man as our President is a great accomplishment. However, I can't overlook the fact that he stands for evil things that I can never support. I don't support him, and I wish he was not our President. It's completely in God's hands now, and I willingly give it to Him because there's really nothing I can do about it.
What am I trying to say then? I'm saying that the color of his skin had nothing to do with the way I voted. I didn't choose to stand against him because he's black. I simply did not, and do not, agree with him.
Now, I would like to ask what is more racist- choosing not to support a black man because I disagree with him on nearly everything, or supporting him just because he's black? I will never support someone just because of their skin color. That's demeaning and racist. We, as a nation, have turned this election into a celebration of race. We have divided ourselves by focusing on the color of someone's skin. Isn't that exactly what we're supposed to be trying not to do? What matters is what a person stands for and how he will lead- it doesn't matter if he's black, white, brown, orange, or purple.
I'm praying that our new President will surprise me. Either way, God is in control.
It is a historic day. I'm not shallow enough to dismiss the fact that having a black man as our President is a great accomplishment. However, I can't overlook the fact that he stands for evil things that I can never support. I don't support him, and I wish he was not our President. It's completely in God's hands now, and I willingly give it to Him because there's really nothing I can do about it.
What am I trying to say then? I'm saying that the color of his skin had nothing to do with the way I voted. I didn't choose to stand against him because he's black. I simply did not, and do not, agree with him.
Now, I would like to ask what is more racist- choosing not to support a black man because I disagree with him on nearly everything, or supporting him just because he's black? I will never support someone just because of their skin color. That's demeaning and racist. We, as a nation, have turned this election into a celebration of race. We have divided ourselves by focusing on the color of someone's skin. Isn't that exactly what we're supposed to be trying not to do? What matters is what a person stands for and how he will lead- it doesn't matter if he's black, white, brown, orange, or purple.
I'm praying that our new President will surprise me. Either way, God is in control.
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Exodus Mandate
"The first place we need to march is right out the front doors of those Christ dishonoring, academically inferior, soul killing, government indoctrination centers." -Voddie Baucham
Luke 6:40 "A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher."
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Formal Dress
Modesty is "in", as far as talk goes. Girls sit in youth group discussions and pledge to be modest in how they dress and behave. They give each other ideas on how to dress modestly. Christian schools and youth groups have dress codes that value covering up. It is explained over and over that we're not to cause our brothers in Christ to stumble. We're told that guys respect girls who cover themselves and behave in a modest fashion. We pursue modesty with the goal of purity.
There is one exception. Did you know that there is an occasion where it's OK to put on less? In fact, it's perfectly acceptable to embrace immodesty at certain times. While I'm sure you all disagree, it seems that the above statements are agreed upon by a large group of Christian "modest" young ladies and their families, whether they realize and admit it or not.
What occasions am I talking about? The title of this post- Formal Dress. When you go to a dance, banquet, party or other formal event, all of a sudden it's right and good to choose a revealing dress. How have we come to this conclusion? The Bible does not teach situation ethics or, in this case, "situation dress". When the Bible says that we are to be modest, there are no exceptions. Formal events are not an excuse to cause our brothers to stumble or to show our body to the world.
Dances deserve their own article completely, as how one dresses at a dance is not near the only stumbling block to be found there, but I'll address them briefly. When choosing out a dress for a dance it appears that young women try not only to find a fancy dress, but to find one that barely exists (making dancing rather difficult, I suspect.).
Maybe a more interesting phenomenon is that of the "banquet" that many private Christian schools and youth groups offer their young people in place of a dance. From my own experience with friends who attend these, and from pictures I have seen, I wonder why this is even offered? If we're going to dress just as immodestly for the banquet, what's the point of offering a substitute to the "worldly" dance? You might as well just go along with the world's way, instead of acting as if you're more holy. What message does this send to our non-Christian friends? We're telling them that we're too holy for their dance, but that we'll attend our own "modified" event where we'll behave and dress just as badly.
Perhaps the hardest concept for me to grasp in this topic is that of undressing for your own wedding! A wedding is a time for the bride to show her beauty, yes, but it is also a time for her to testify her purity to the world. Everyone knows that all eyes will be on the bride for the entire day. What you wear as your wedding gown is a test of your true character. Will you use that day to show off your body to the world (as your groom stands by and vows himself to you)? Or will you use that day to do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life (Prov. 31:12) by showing the world that you have saved yourself completely for him and that he is, in fact, receiving a pure bride.
Bride's maid's dresses are a topic unto themselves. As young ladies striving for modesty, we should encourage one another in modest dress always. How is it that a young woman would choose dresses for her closest friends that make them look trashy? How is it that her "modest" friends would have so little respect for themselves that they would adorn themselves in next to nothing?
My dad is a minister and loves performing wedding ceremonies. But he has often been shocked at the way the bride and her maids have been dressed. How sad it is that the preacher should have to try not to look at the young ladies in the wedding party, for fear of seeing too much.
So why do I write this? Because it hurts me greatly when I see beautiful young women dressing like not-so-beautiful young women. It bothers me when we, who are called to be different, blindly accept the world's ways even as we make a claim not to. It strikes me as a great loss to use a formal occasion to undress instead of to have fun dressing up and showing those around you that you are modest, and lovely, under all circumstances. When we decide it's OK to dress scantily for formal events, we tell the world, "You're right. Modest dress makes me look frumpy and silly. I'll dress immodestly in order to look beautiful for this event." This is NOT true! Modest dress is what God expects of us and let's never forget that HE is our Creator. His commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3b). Women are made to be beautiful, and we can show modesty, purity, femininity, and true beauty through how we dress for formal events. We do not need to cling to the world's way of doing things, which ultimately degrades women and their bodies and causes us to lose our testimony of purity. And let us never forget that it is not our outer beauty that determines our worth in God's eyes.
1 Timothy 2:9a "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves modestly..."
1 Peter 3:3-4 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
There is one exception. Did you know that there is an occasion where it's OK to put on less? In fact, it's perfectly acceptable to embrace immodesty at certain times. While I'm sure you all disagree, it seems that the above statements are agreed upon by a large group of Christian "modest" young ladies and their families, whether they realize and admit it or not.
What occasions am I talking about? The title of this post- Formal Dress. When you go to a dance, banquet, party or other formal event, all of a sudden it's right and good to choose a revealing dress. How have we come to this conclusion? The Bible does not teach situation ethics or, in this case, "situation dress". When the Bible says that we are to be modest, there are no exceptions. Formal events are not an excuse to cause our brothers to stumble or to show our body to the world.
Dances deserve their own article completely, as how one dresses at a dance is not near the only stumbling block to be found there, but I'll address them briefly. When choosing out a dress for a dance it appears that young women try not only to find a fancy dress, but to find one that barely exists (making dancing rather difficult, I suspect.).
Maybe a more interesting phenomenon is that of the "banquet" that many private Christian schools and youth groups offer their young people in place of a dance. From my own experience with friends who attend these, and from pictures I have seen, I wonder why this is even offered? If we're going to dress just as immodestly for the banquet, what's the point of offering a substitute to the "worldly" dance? You might as well just go along with the world's way, instead of acting as if you're more holy. What message does this send to our non-Christian friends? We're telling them that we're too holy for their dance, but that we'll attend our own "modified" event where we'll behave and dress just as badly.
Perhaps the hardest concept for me to grasp in this topic is that of undressing for your own wedding! A wedding is a time for the bride to show her beauty, yes, but it is also a time for her to testify her purity to the world. Everyone knows that all eyes will be on the bride for the entire day. What you wear as your wedding gown is a test of your true character. Will you use that day to show off your body to the world (as your groom stands by and vows himself to you)? Or will you use that day to do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life (Prov. 31:12) by showing the world that you have saved yourself completely for him and that he is, in fact, receiving a pure bride.
Bride's maid's dresses are a topic unto themselves. As young ladies striving for modesty, we should encourage one another in modest dress always. How is it that a young woman would choose dresses for her closest friends that make them look trashy? How is it that her "modest" friends would have so little respect for themselves that they would adorn themselves in next to nothing?
My dad is a minister and loves performing wedding ceremonies. But he has often been shocked at the way the bride and her maids have been dressed. How sad it is that the preacher should have to try not to look at the young ladies in the wedding party, for fear of seeing too much.
So why do I write this? Because it hurts me greatly when I see beautiful young women dressing like not-so-beautiful young women. It bothers me when we, who are called to be different, blindly accept the world's ways even as we make a claim not to. It strikes me as a great loss to use a formal occasion to undress instead of to have fun dressing up and showing those around you that you are modest, and lovely, under all circumstances. When we decide it's OK to dress scantily for formal events, we tell the world, "You're right. Modest dress makes me look frumpy and silly. I'll dress immodestly in order to look beautiful for this event." This is NOT true! Modest dress is what God expects of us and let's never forget that HE is our Creator. His commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3b). Women are made to be beautiful, and we can show modesty, purity, femininity, and true beauty through how we dress for formal events. We do not need to cling to the world's way of doing things, which ultimately degrades women and their bodies and causes us to lose our testimony of purity. And let us never forget that it is not our outer beauty that determines our worth in God's eyes.
1 Timothy 2:9a "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves modestly..."
1 Peter 3:3-4 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
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