Formal Dress

Modesty is "in", as far as talk goes. Girls sit in youth group discussions and pledge to be modest in how they dress and behave. They give each other ideas on how to dress modestly. Christian schools and youth groups have dress codes that value covering up. It is explained over and over that we're not to cause our brothers in Christ to stumble. We're told that guys respect girls who cover themselves and behave in a modest fashion. We pursue modesty with the goal of purity.

There is one exception. Did you know that there is an occasion where it's OK to put on less? In fact, it's perfectly acceptable to embrace immodesty at certain times. While I'm sure you all disagree, it seems that the above statements are agreed upon by a large group of Christian "modest" young ladies and their families, whether they realize and admit it or not.

What occasions am I talking about? The title of this post- Formal Dress. When you go to a dance, banquet, party or other formal event, all of a sudden it's right and good to choose a revealing dress. How have we come to this conclusion? The Bible does not teach situation ethics or, in this case, "situation dress". When the Bible says that we are to be modest, there are no exceptions. Formal events are not an excuse to cause our brothers to stumble or to show our body to the world.

Dances deserve their own article completely, as how one dresses at a dance is not near the only stumbling block to be found there, but I'll address them briefly. When choosing out a dress for a dance it appears that young women try not only to find a fancy dress, but to find one that barely exists (making dancing rather difficult, I suspect.).

Maybe a more interesting phenomenon is that of the "banquet" that many private Christian schools and youth groups offer their young people in place of a dance. From my own experience with friends who attend these, and from pictures I have seen, I wonder why this is even offered? If we're going to dress just as immodestly for the banquet, what's the point of offering a substitute to the "worldly" dance? You might as well just go along with the world's way, instead of acting as if you're more holy. What message does this send to our non-Christian friends? We're telling them that we're too holy for their dance, but that we'll attend our own "modified" event where we'll behave and dress just as badly.

Perhaps the hardest concept for me to grasp in this topic is that of undressing for your own wedding! A wedding is a time for the bride to show her beauty, yes, but it is also a time for her to testify her purity to the world. Everyone knows that all eyes will be on the bride for the entire day. What you wear as your wedding gown is a test of your true character. Will you use that day to show off your body to the world (as your groom stands by and vows himself to you)? Or will you use that day to do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life (Prov. 31:12) by showing the world that you have saved yourself completely for him and that he is, in fact, receiving a pure bride.

Bride's maid's dresses are a topic unto themselves. As young ladies striving for modesty, we should encourage one another in modest dress always. How is it that a young woman would choose dresses for her closest friends that make them look trashy? How is it that her "modest" friends would have so little respect for themselves that they would adorn themselves in next to nothing?

My dad is a minister and loves performing wedding ceremonies. But he has often been shocked at the way the bride and her maids have been dressed. How sad it is that the preacher should have to try not to look at the young ladies in the wedding party, for fear of seeing too much.

So why do I write this? Because it hurts me greatly when I see beautiful young women dressing like not-so-beautiful young women. It bothers me when we, who are called to be different, blindly accept the world's ways even as we make a claim not to. It strikes me as a great loss to use a formal occasion to undress instead of to have fun dressing up and showing those around you that you are modest, and lovely, under all circumstances. When we decide it's OK to dress scantily for formal events, we tell the world, "You're right. Modest dress makes me look frumpy and silly. I'll dress immodestly in order to look beautiful for this event." This is NOT true! Modest dress is what God expects of us and let's never forget that HE is our Creator. His commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3b). Women are made to be beautiful, and we can show modesty, purity, femininity, and true beauty through how we dress for formal events. We do not need to cling to the world's way of doing things, which ultimately degrades women and their bodies and causes us to lose our testimony of purity. And let us never forget that it is not our outer beauty that determines our worth in God's eyes.

1 Timothy 2:9a "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves modestly..."

1 Peter 3:3-4 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.