One thing that is so glaringly obvious about the Old Testament is how God's people repented and fell again, repented and fell again, and so on. And how they seemed to forget God and what He had done for them. I sometimes laugh a little at the Israelites who, after being saved from the Egyptians in nothing less than a miraculous way, are complaining and whining and doubting God just a few chapters later.
But I do that. Today I realized how much people stay the same. And how much God stays the same.
Our decision to move back to Colorado has brought so much joy, and so much stress. As does any life changing decision. There are "pros and cons", happy things and sad things. I have allowed the ups and downs of the whole moving process to get to me at times. My husband can bear witness to that.
We truly believe that we belong in Colorado right now, near our families, and we are thankful that we are able to make the move back. We are also thankful for our year in Florida, because without it our lives would be missing so many good things (and people!). We made a prayerful decision and went for it. Yet sometimes I doubt that God has it under control. How silly. How short-sighted.
A few weeks ago the fact that we had no boxes to pack in worried me slightly. I commented to Alan that night that I wondered where we would ever get enough boxes to get our stuff to Colorado. Looking back, it was a silly thought and a needless worry. At the moment it didn't seem like it. I went to sleep wondering about boxes.
The next day I parked in my normal spot at work and looked at the recycle bin next to me. It was overflowing with big, sturdy, new computer boxes with handles. I was told to take what I wanted. I loaded up and filled my car with even more the next day. Those computer boxes KEEP showing up in the recycle bin, along with plenty of other box varieties. Maybe it seems like an unimportant thing for God to spend His time thinking about. But you can't tell me that a dumb little worry that only I and my husband knew I had was solved the very next morning at my parking spot, and God had nothing to do with it. I think He had everything to do with it. And I was humbled to realize how much He cares about the "small" things and how He 100% totally has my move under control.
For a while, I was at peace. But a few chapters later...
I find myself thinking about different aspects of the move, stressing some, worrying a little. I promise I really am excited, but the ins and outs of the whole thing do take some juggling. Last night I had a particular concern that kind of bummed me out. I went to bed a little sad that something hadn't worked out, rather than praising God for the boxes.
Today at work someone blessed me with a wonderful gift that directly halts the concern I went to bed with. After being blessed with this unexpected gift, I was so filled with faith and conviction. I knew that God knew what He was doing and had everything under control. I then went into one of the kindergarten classes at work a little teary eyed, and mumbled an excuse about my tears when the teacher asked if I was okay. Then I cut out what seemed like a thousand president hats.
I came home and told my husband about my excitement, and I called my parents to tell them too. Then I remembered the boxes. And I felt like a wandering Israelite, always unsure and complaining even though God has revealed Himself so many times. I hope that a few chapters later I will finally have grown up and have full confidence in God's plan for my life, even in the "small" things like shoes not wearing out in the wilderness or a pile of nice boxes laying next to a parking spot.
