For the Young Ladies

I am not usually a very teary-eyed person. Lately, I have found myself on the verge of crying almost all the time. I think this has something to do with the fact that I am leaving 4 of the 5 people I love most in this world. I am not leaving the relationships, but I'm leaving the closeness with them physically- heading across the country to begin a new journey with my husband. While we may return as soon as 16 months after we leave, it still seems like an unimaginable separation to me.

Being married is a wonderful blessing and I am thankful every day for God's timing in giving me the man I will spend my life with. So many things lined up perfectly to show us that it really was God who brought us together at this time, for His purpose. My life up until marriage was lived with the hope of becoming a wife and mother, and God has abundantly blessed me by putting Alan in my life. So sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. Why am I so sad to leave my family when God has given me the very thing I spent my life asking for? Today I've been thinking about it, and I think instead of something being wrong, something is very RIGHT.

My parents, and my siblings, have nurtured an environment in our home that makes it very difficult to leave. As a teen, I had no desire to "find myself" or "spread my wings". I didn't dream about days of independence to come. I always believed that God had placed me exactly where I belonged- in my family. As a sixteen year old I made the decision that I would remain with them until marriage. They gave me a home so wonderful that my only desire was to be a part of it, and to someday nurture my own home and family in the same way. I knew that even if God never chose to give me a husband and children, I would have a place to belong and a family to serve alongside.

I have come to appreciate the power of a daughter serving alongside her parents and family. I have been asked in recent years if I ever regret the decision not to go to college. Staying with my family presented many more opportunities for me personally than the college campus would have, given my life goals. I was able to seek educational opportunities from home, as I have my whole life. I was able to spend that many more years with my church family at Pleasant Valley, nurturing relationships with the brothers and sisters there longer than would otherwise have been possible. I was able to seek many job opportunities and build up my resume, all while building up my bank account so as to bring money, rather than debt, into my marriage. I was able to watch my brother's middle school and high school sports career unfold, and to be one of his biggest fans and cheer leaders. I was able to grow into a young adult along with my sister and to share life experiences with her as they came. I was able to grow under and along with my parents, and to watch their vision for our home unfold and become reality. I was able to share in my family's hopes and dreams for the future- the hopes and dreams that we worked on together. These are experiences that I would not give up for anything. While these years were not perfect, they were well spent and I will value the education, relationships, skills, service, and income that I gained for the rest of my life.

Many of my friends have chosen college. College is a tool and it can be used well if it does not become a god. I have been greatly convicted in my own lifestyle. And my goal in sharing it through my blogging is to let young women know that there are options. Leaving home and pursuing schooling is not the only way to success in this life. It's okay to think and live differently. In fact, in our society and in the church I think often we have very strong beliefs and opinions, but we don't even know where we got them. If our goal is to live a life that is pleasing to God, we need to examine every life decision. We can't fall into society's idea of what comes next in life, or the world's idea of what makes a person valid and successful. If I put God first in my life, my decisions will not reflect a desire to make "me" happy or to make "me" successful or to make "me" important or to make "me" rich or to make "me" famous or to make "me" comfortable. My life decisions will instead reflect a desire to strengthen the church, the country, and the family. My decisions will reflect a desire to live according to God's plan for me, not to live according to what the world says I should do.

As I am preparing to move across the country, where I will live far from my parents and my siblings, I wanted to take the opportunity to let other young women know what a blessing remaining in a Christian home can be. And if I have been so very blessed by this lifestyle, I believe it is my responsibility to let others know. Several friends have confided in me that they wish they had known there were other options before they left home. They sought after schooling because others told them it was so necessary. They now "have it all", but can't figure out why they ever wanted it all. If someone had just told them somewhere along the way that their worth does not come from a piece of paper or four years of independence, they would have explored all their options. The country needs faithful daughters. The church needs faithful daughters. And the home needs faithful daughters. My hope is that these daughters will examine every decision and how it will effect the ultimate goal before pursuing it.

In closing, I realize that I now have a new goal. My goal is to provide the kind of home for my future children that my parents provided for me. A home of industry, education, hospitality, love, and purpose. A home that will be very hard for them to leave, even when the time is right.

The perfect snack for a snowy day...

A Feminine Design

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You were designed and shaped by the Creator Himself. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. While you were in the womb, growing and thriving within your mother, He knew you.

And He knew that you were a woman. He knew that your body was to be intricately woven and formed to be all things womanly and feminine. He created your body and your cycle. He gave you the ability to carry new life within you and to deliver children. He designed the life stages you would go through physically and emotionally as a woman.

Over the last few years I have studied more in depth the design of a woman's body. As I have studied, I have found a stigma that seems to run through talk about a woman's cycle and body and fertility and child bearing. It is almost a dirty thing to discuss a period and it's somehow embarrassing to ask questions about our cycles. While I am not here to get into the blatant details of a woman's body and cycle, I am here to say that it is a beautiful thing. And I am here to say that Christian women, more than anyone else, should have an understanding of and appreciation for everything about the bodies that God has given them.

Our Creator made us knowing full well that we would have a womanly cycle, through the entire month. He created sex and fertility. He designed our bodies to carry and give birth to children. He also knew that there would come a time that each woman would no longer experience this cycle and the ability to bear children, but instead move onto a new stage of feminine life- every bit as beautiful. The more I study, the more excited I am about the design of the feminine body. God has handed us the ability to understand our own personal fertility, to know how to please our husbands sexually, and to handle the ups and downs of our emotions and hormones (monthly, or as the years go by) in a godly way. I truly believe there is no excuse for us to be ignorant of our physical femininity. And I believe there is no reason that a young woman in a Christian home should be embarrassed to ask questions about her body. I would like to make several points that I have prayerfully considered over the last few months.

Periods are not "dirty". The period is one part of the monthly cycle that most women will experience. When young women are taught about their periods, they should understand that it is not something to be ashamed of. Obviously discretion about when and where to discuss this should be taught, but women of all ages should understand that God gave them their period as part of a greater feminine cycle that is crucial to life.

Pregnancy is not an illness. While I don't think our society outright states that it is such, I think there is an underlying idea that pregnant women are ill in some way. Pregnancy and child birth are beautiful and natural. I am so thankful for modern medicine and the ability to ensure even safer pregnancies and deliveries. But not every pregnancy is high risk and not every expectant mother is ill. There are so many health benefits that come with bearing children. God has chosen to make new life a blessing to the bodies of mothers. Young women often have the idea that child birth is just not worth it because "it hurts" and that pregnancy is uncomfortable. I have yet to bear children, so I speak with some amount of ignorance. But I do know that a loving God created pregnancy and child birth for the benefit of everyone involved and that the blessings far outweigh the challenges.

You do not have to be ignorant about your fertility. God has set up a beautiful, track-able cycle that women for many generations have learned to understand. Unfortunately, in a society of government taught sex education courses, many young women know nothing more about their own cycle than that they have a period once a month. Christian women need to take the responsibility of teaching their daughters and granddaughters to understand their bodies. If we do not, someone else will. And the information may be greatly lacking and sometimes misleading.

Doctors don't have all the answers. Once again, I am so thankful for modern medicine. I'm thankful for people who dedicate their life to studying the human body and medicine so that they can help others live healthy lives. But whose job is it to educate young people about their bodies? The doctor's? The sex ed teacher's? No. It is the parent's job. When your young daughter is taken into the doctor's office and asked if she is sexually active and if she has need of free condoms, she should have an adamant answer otherwise. When the doctor asks questions about the feminine cycle, young women should have a genuine understanding of what is being discussed. When government required information about female health is given to a young woman, she should know what is true and what is not. And if she doesn't know, she should know who to ask or to find out before blindly following a health care provider's advice. We can help our doctor to help us better if we understand our own bodies and beliefs.

We live in a pill-happy society. Christian women should not be ignorant of what is being put into their bodies. Doctors will prescribe the pill for many many things other than birth control. I cannot say that it is wrong in every instance because I do not know of each individual health situation. However, I personally have been prescribed the pill for a completely unnecessary reason and refused, first because of the abortifacient qualities and second because of the many other side effects. Women need to be ever-vigilant and educated on any kind of medicine they are prescribed. The pill is a dangerous thing and should not be taken lightly, considering that hormones are involved and so crucial to a healthy cycle.

Purity does not mean ignorance of all things sexual. Christian women, in their purity, should know the true design for sexual relationships and bearing of children. Women should understand their value and beauty and the way the Creator planned for them to use and enjoy their body. Christian women should not fear the unknown or have to wonder about their body. They should know the proper avenue to gain information about and learn to appreciate every part of feminine health.

On a related note, as Christians, our children should have a better understanding of the value and purpose of sex than the average playground bully. They should have enough guidance to understand what is right and wrong. They should not see sex as a filthy thing that cannot be discussed. When sexual comments are made, they should not be vulnerable to lies and misconceptions. They should fully understand that God created sex and that it is good, but that sinful people misuse it and only then does it become wrong.

Ignorance about our bodies can cause fear about what we might not understand, confusion about what is normal in general or normal to us as individuals, and wrong ideas about sex and what it is meant to be. Women who are ignorant of their bodies are vulnerable to lies and misinformation.

Understanding the feminine body and cycle boosts self esteem and protects Christian women from lies- whether blatant or underlying- about their bodies. When we understand our own bodies and appreciate them as temples we can help our doctors and care providers to give us better care. Helping our daughters understand their bodies will nurture physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual health in all of life. When we know our bodies well we can have even more fulfilling marriages and we can offer so much comfort and advice to the women around us. Open discussion between women and their daughters will prevent young women from seeking advice in less than acceptable places where they might receive false or biased information. Let's not fear or ignore areas of our bodies. Please never think there are things you just don't need to know about your body or cycle. As Christian women, let's have a deep understanding of the beautiful design that is the woman's body.

I've been a bit distracted...

More posts soon to come:

* Lessons learned from engagement, wedding, and a new marriage.

*Respect, understanding and appreciation for the design of our bodies as women.

*Evidence of and praise for the power of prayer in my life.

And now I write and blog as a Mrs. :)

Dale's Car

There was once a man named Dale who lived up Rist Canyon and drove down the canyon into town every now and then. He had a beautiful wife and he truly knew what it meant to love. He collected train sets and she collected Hummel dolls. Their home was not only up the canyon, it was up a steep and rocky hill that was treacherous in the winter. For this reason Dale owned two Scouts and a plow, making it possible for him to clear his way down the hill after snow storms. Dale's wife was a quilter and enjoyed her home in the trees, quilting her days away and loving her husband. This couple knew their home and surrounding so well that even the birds would rest on their hands for a cracker or piece of bread.

Every time Dale drove into town he'd pass the little white "Church of Christ, Welcome" sign in the town of Bellvue. He was always interested, but never stopped.

After Dale's wife died, he was lonely. One day he did stop at the Church of Christ welcome sign and the rest is history. My mom likes to say that God sent us an angel.

Dale was a worker and an encourager. The more we learned about him, the more there was to learn. He grew up in Amish country and preferred a rather plain lifestyle. We were invited to his home where we saw his train tracks and trains that decorated his attic. He showed us his wife's Hummel dolls and the quilts she had lovingly sewn, all with her initials and a date in the corner. He never once spoke of her without a tender love and respect in his voice.

Dale showed us how the birds up Rist Canyon had come to trust him, and how they'd perch on his hand for a snack. He had rigged his house with all kinds of interesting contraptions to open doors and such, you just never knew what you were going to find.

When I needed case study clients for my herbal course, Dale gladly volunteered. He was interested in everything I had to say about natural health. He admitted his love for chocolate, rather shame-faced. Much to his surprise, I returned his case study with information about the health benefits of dark chocolate for older men. He was happy.

Dale provided us with so many books and so much information and supported us completely in our home schooling vision. He became a source of great knowledge and always had something wise to say about everything. When he found out my sister was in the "jewel business", he gave her his wife's collection of gem and rock books.

I remember one of the first times Dale came to worship with us I noticed his cute little red car. It had a personality all its own and I loved it! Whenever I saw that car, I immediately thought of Dale and his simple- and yet rich- lifestyle. The little car was a 1985 Ford Tempo that he had bought new. Perhaps one of the most interesting characteristics about this car was the passenger side mirror, which was fastened to the hood. That was just one of several "upgrades" Dale had installed on the car, as I would soon find out. Because little did I know, that little car was soon to be mine.

It was a sad day when Dale told us he'd be moving out of state to live with his kids. We knew Dale was old, but we didn't see him that way. We had a hard time picturing him anywhere but up that rocky hill in Rist Canyon. We had a hard time picturing our congregation without him. But he knew it would be safer for him to live with someone who could help care for him as he aged.

God really did send us an angel. All Dale ever did was give and love. Even when he joined my family for holiday meals, he showed up with gifts in hand. He was always at least half an hour early, and we were honored that he so enjoyed our company. I know that he blessed my family and I know that he anonymously blessed others who will probably never know, until heaven, who it was that gave them such needed gifts. I also know that I am a better person because I have been able to know him, and I hope I can be like him.

When Dale said his car was for sale, it was a given. There was no way I WASN'T buying that car. I bought it knowing I'd have the memory of him driving it every time I looked in the mirror that was fastened to the hood. And wow, did that mirror get attention. I think I got more questions and interest in that car than anyone driving the newest, shiniest vehicle.

"Is that a...mirror on your hood?"

"What's that there on your hood?"

I would always answer, explaining that my sweet friend Dale made it easy for me. All I had to do was glance at the hood instead of actually turning my head. Saved my neck some work.

We also found that Dale had welded pieces of metal to the screws in the license plate for un-screwing ease. Saved my fingers some work.

That car came loaded with a mini air compressor, snow scraper, jumper cables, tools, a spotlight, chains, tow ropes, and every 1985 Ford Tempo book ever written... I was always prepared for whatever might come, thanks to Dale's preparation.

Even through selling his car to me, Dale found a way to bless me even more. He sold me the car at very little cost, saying that I had helped him several times with herb consultations at no cost. The truth is that he had helped ME by allowing me to gain experience and credit in my herbal studies, as someone very new to consulting as an Herbalist. But there was no convincing him to take more than the price he had decided on, and I was very blessed. That car was an answer to prayers, and I know that Dale allowed himself to be an answer to prayer by blessing me the way he did. God DOES answer prayers, even those that may seem insignificant. And I have learned, Dale being one of my main examples, that God chooses to use those who serve Him to bless others. I experienced this in a big way.

That little car never broke down. In three years I never had to put any major money into a car that is 6 years older than me. The paint and interior were as close to perfect as most people have seen in a car that old. It was fun to drive- I felt powerful driving my stick in a world of automatics. It definitely had personality and I was recognizable, driving my little red classic with the bumper stickers and funny mirror.

I sold it today and looking back, I know why I shed a few tears. Not only was it my hard earned first car. It had personality and a history. And I will always be thankful to my friend Dale who set me up with such a fantastic vehicle for 3 years. Ultimately setting me up to save the money I did (can you say almost 40 mpg?) to be able to buy the new car to help me prepare for the next big step in my life

Family Heritage

On July 4th I was given my soon-to-be-husband's great grandmother's ring along with a marriage proposal. After saying "yes", I had time to admire my beautiful ring. As a family heirloom, it represents the history of a family I will soon be a part of. I could not be more honored. The more I think about it, the more precious it becomes to me because it is a piece of their heritage, given to me as I prepare to join their family. This beautiful ring was taken care of and treasured and is now mine to treasure for future generations.

As I thought about an heirloom ring and its significance to a family, I began thinking about the heritage I want my family to have. I believe God always meant for His people to think about generations to come. Human beings can become so "me" focused and live so much for the moment with little thought about the future of their family. We can also become so zealous for evangelism that we forget to think about the spiritual heritage of our own families. What heritage do I want to leave for my children and their children's children? There is no greater treasure than that which God's people will receive as their reward in Heaven. And as I think about my family and the family I will soon be part of, I want nothing more than to insure that treasure for my children and generations to come. I seek multi-generational faithfulness.

Ps 71:17-18 O God, You have taught me from my youth and I still declare Your wondrous deeds. And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to all who are to come.

This passage of Psalm 17 really sums up what I'm trying to say. Here is someone who was taught from his youth and still faithfully praises God. The declaration that even when he is old and gray he will declare God's strength and power to "this generation" and "to all who are to come" truly encourages me. This is a picture of multi-generational faithfulness to the glory of God.

In Paul's letters to Timothy we also see a picture of generational faithfulness. Timothy's grandmother and mother taught him to love God, and we see very clearly that they were successful in their desire to raise a faithful follower of Christ.

Ps 78:1-7 Listen, O my people, to my instruction; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known and our fathers have told us. We will not conceal them from their children, but tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.

Deut 4:9-10 "Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons. Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when the LORD said to me, 'Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.'"

God has always had a heart for the future generations of his people. His desire is for His people to love Him enough that they actively seek ways of insuring the faithfulness of their families until Christ returns. Salvation is a treasure above any other treasure. We have it. It is our responsibility to do everything in our power to safe guard it for future generations, just as my fiance's family took great care with his great grandmother's ring. It is our job to shift our focus from the treasures of this world to the treasures found in obedience to God and His Word. May we, as His people, seek what He seeks for our families- faithfulness for generations to come.

A Plentiful Harvest

Gal 6:9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

It is a time of great harvest in Bellvue, Colorado right now. The garden behind my house and the Pleasant Valley church building is full of yellow squash, cucumbers, yellow squash, zucchini, okra, yellow squash, green beans, pumpkins, and tomatoes. But especially yellow squash. Every morning we walk out to the garden and pick from the bounty, and by the time we return to the garden in the afternoon there is even more to pick. We make stir fry and salad and zucchini bread and squash casserole and more squash casserole. We share with the church and friends in the community. And what's left gets placed on the picnic table at the church building with a sign practically begging passers-by to help themselves. The garden is a fun and practical way to build up our community, and to bless ourselves and others with the fruit of the earth.

As we collect basket after basket of garden goods, we're thankful. When we taste the first fried okra of the summer, or pull the first loaf of chocolate chip zucchini bread out of the oven, we barely remember the work that went into it. When the community garden share coordinator is amazed at the amount of yellow squash we bring in, we're proud.

However, when I think back to the plowing and the digging and the watering and the weeding, I realize the great effort that went into the garden. When we feel the need to pray that it will rain enough to relieve our watering duties for a day or two, the garden can seem like a great burden. When we''re sweating in full sun with dirt under our finger nails and sore backs but can STILL see endless weeds, we start to wonder why we bother. The challenge is to not grow weary, but to think of the great harvest later in the year. The challenge is to remember all the people who will be blessed by the bounty that will result from the hard work of planting and caring for a garden.

Spiritually, we become weary. Day in and day out we work. We teach and preach and study, praying that someone will hear and believe and act on their faith. We toil in God's Kingdom and we are often met with trials, suffering, and heart ache. We watch people fall away, often for trivial reasons. We listen as the world, and sometimes those who call themselves Christians, mock the Church- Christ's own bride. Sometimes it would be easy to give up. At one time or another, I'm sure that each Christian has asked themselves, "Why?" Why bother with the hard labor of daily bearing a cross? Why even try to live differently from the world, when it attacks our lifestyle at every angle? Why teach people who laugh, ignore, or walk away? Why bother challenging wrong doctrine when it seems never ending? Sometimes we can look up from our work and see that there is so much more to do, as we can look up from our weeding in a garden and see that there are so many more weeds to pull.

While a garden can fail, we still put much work into it and have faith that it will supply us with much fruit to enjoy and share. The good news for us as Christians is that if we continue with the work of God, we cannot fail. As Jesus was being beaten and mocked and spat on and hated, He could have given up. But he didn't. Why? Because Jesus knew the end result. He knew that through his anguish, a great harvest would be collected. He knew that through His pain He would enable people to return to their God. He knew that through His suffering, the Church would begin.

Gal 6:7-8a Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption.

Whether we are sowing fleshly things or spiritual things, we are sowing something. With sowing comes work and with work comes weariness. When we're in the midst of hard spiritual labor, it may seem easier to just give it up. But when we do, we automatically begin fleshly labor which may seem easy for a time, but ends in a weariness full of corruption.

The hopeful end result of sowing a garden is a plentiful harvest of vegetables to share with friends and to enjoy as a family. As Christians, we KNOW the end result of our work:

Gal 6:8b But the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Eternal life through the Spirit is our goal and the result of our sowing here upon this earth. Do not grow weary of doing good. Know that the harvest is plentiful and the end result is eternity with your God.