For the Young Ladies

I am not usually a very teary-eyed person. Lately, I have found myself on the verge of crying almost all the time. I think this has something to do with the fact that I am leaving 4 of the 5 people I love most in this world. I am not leaving the relationships, but I'm leaving the closeness with them physically- heading across the country to begin a new journey with my husband. While we may return as soon as 16 months after we leave, it still seems like an unimaginable separation to me.

Being married is a wonderful blessing and I am thankful every day for God's timing in giving me the man I will spend my life with. So many things lined up perfectly to show us that it really was God who brought us together at this time, for His purpose. My life up until marriage was lived with the hope of becoming a wife and mother, and God has abundantly blessed me by putting Alan in my life. So sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. Why am I so sad to leave my family when God has given me the very thing I spent my life asking for? Today I've been thinking about it, and I think instead of something being wrong, something is very RIGHT.

My parents, and my siblings, have nurtured an environment in our home that makes it very difficult to leave. As a teen, I had no desire to "find myself" or "spread my wings". I didn't dream about days of independence to come. I always believed that God had placed me exactly where I belonged- in my family. As a sixteen year old I made the decision that I would remain with them until marriage. They gave me a home so wonderful that my only desire was to be a part of it, and to someday nurture my own home and family in the same way. I knew that even if God never chose to give me a husband and children, I would have a place to belong and a family to serve alongside.

I have come to appreciate the power of a daughter serving alongside her parents and family. I have been asked in recent years if I ever regret the decision not to go to college. Staying with my family presented many more opportunities for me personally than the college campus would have, given my life goals. I was able to seek educational opportunities from home, as I have my whole life. I was able to spend that many more years with my church family at Pleasant Valley, nurturing relationships with the brothers and sisters there longer than would otherwise have been possible. I was able to seek many job opportunities and build up my resume, all while building up my bank account so as to bring money, rather than debt, into my marriage. I was able to watch my brother's middle school and high school sports career unfold, and to be one of his biggest fans and cheer leaders. I was able to grow into a young adult along with my sister and to share life experiences with her as they came. I was able to grow under and along with my parents, and to watch their vision for our home unfold and become reality. I was able to share in my family's hopes and dreams for the future- the hopes and dreams that we worked on together. These are experiences that I would not give up for anything. While these years were not perfect, they were well spent and I will value the education, relationships, skills, service, and income that I gained for the rest of my life.

Many of my friends have chosen college. College is a tool and it can be used well if it does not become a god. I have been greatly convicted in my own lifestyle. And my goal in sharing it through my blogging is to let young women know that there are options. Leaving home and pursuing schooling is not the only way to success in this life. It's okay to think and live differently. In fact, in our society and in the church I think often we have very strong beliefs and opinions, but we don't even know where we got them. If our goal is to live a life that is pleasing to God, we need to examine every life decision. We can't fall into society's idea of what comes next in life, or the world's idea of what makes a person valid and successful. If I put God first in my life, my decisions will not reflect a desire to make "me" happy or to make "me" successful or to make "me" important or to make "me" rich or to make "me" famous or to make "me" comfortable. My life decisions will instead reflect a desire to strengthen the church, the country, and the family. My decisions will reflect a desire to live according to God's plan for me, not to live according to what the world says I should do.

As I am preparing to move across the country, where I will live far from my parents and my siblings, I wanted to take the opportunity to let other young women know what a blessing remaining in a Christian home can be. And if I have been so very blessed by this lifestyle, I believe it is my responsibility to let others know. Several friends have confided in me that they wish they had known there were other options before they left home. They sought after schooling because others told them it was so necessary. They now "have it all", but can't figure out why they ever wanted it all. If someone had just told them somewhere along the way that their worth does not come from a piece of paper or four years of independence, they would have explored all their options. The country needs faithful daughters. The church needs faithful daughters. And the home needs faithful daughters. My hope is that these daughters will examine every decision and how it will effect the ultimate goal before pursuing it.

In closing, I realize that I now have a new goal. My goal is to provide the kind of home for my future children that my parents provided for me. A home of industry, education, hospitality, love, and purpose. A home that will be very hard for them to leave, even when the time is right.