A New Kind of Seen and Not Heard

I don't believe in children being seen and not heard. I believe children are a vital part of the family and should be included in conversations all throughout the day. The idea that children show respect through silence may be a thing of the past, but we have a whole new kind of seen and not heard today. We rid ourselves of our children through any avenue we can, as early as we can. Day care, preschool, grade school, extracurriculars, and so on. And
when we DO have them, we set them in front of the TV.

I just saw a news story about a grocery store offering carts for children with a built in TV screen to play cartoons. I remember grocery shopping with my mom as a child. We would pick recipes ahead of time and choose out the ingredients together. It was a time to visit with mom, learn to compare prices, and help plan meals for the week. It was a time to count out my own money that I had saved to buy something special. I was included in the experience and I'm sure it was early training for what my mom hoped to be good shopping habits later. It was actually a special time spent with my mom. But somehow parents today think a TV screen is the answer for entertaining their children during grocery shopping trips.

How sad. But I shouldn't be surprised. Road trips used to be times of looking for license plates from different states, playing I Spy, noticing the beauty of the surroundings, and conversing. Now every mini van has a screen to entertain the kids and keep them quiet. And to top that, some have two or three screens. Because we all know it would be the end of the world if little Johnny had to share a TV with his sister.

Meal times used to be times to pray together, enjoy a meal, and catch up with one another. Now families entertain themselves at the dinner table with the news, a cartoon, or a movie. TV is even used for "educational purposes" which, to throw my opinion out there, seems to be used as just one more reason to place kids in front of a screen instead of involving them in life and educating them through experiences.

What it boils down to is that we like to get kids out of the way. We check "have kid number 1" and "have kid number 2" off our life list, then we spend their childhood doing everything in our power to make sure they don't inconvenience us. Send them away, let someone else raise them, ignore them, distract them with the TV. It's so much easier to plop the crying child in the cart to watch Sponge Bob than it is to actually discipline. It's easier to let Sesame Street do the teaching than to sit down and teach a child to count. And it's easier to let Yo Gabba Gabba (yikes!) put your child to bed than it is to read him a story and rock him to sleep. So now we have a bunch of kids who are dependent on a screen to get them through the day. They can't eat breakfast without it, they can't go on a trip without it, they can't go to sleep without it, and NOW they can't sit in the shopping cart without it.

Instead of teaching our kids to be seen and not heard for the purpose of respect, we are now teaching them to be seen and not heard because it's easier than having to deal with them ourselves. What's next? Changing tables with built-in TV screens? Sand box sets that include a wide screen and speakers? Swing set cartoon stations?

Children deserve better. I hope we won't buy into TV parenting. I hope we'll take pleasure in the everyday tasks that come along with raising children. Children are eternal beings and life is too short to waste theirs in front of TV screens.

An Epidemic of "Happiness"

"As long as you're happy." seems to be a common theme in our culture. We seek happiness at every turn. In every part of our lives we strive to make ourselves, and those we love, happy.

What if I told you that I care very little about your happiness? The truth is, my goal for the people around me is not that they live happy lives. I believe the pursuit of happiness has become an epidemic, as we have tossed everything else aside in order to be "happy".

The pursuit of happiness has infested every area of our society: relationships, occupations, religion, education, etc. Happiness is such a shallow and relatively unattainable goal on its own. Yet we reach for it and turn to it as an answer to all of the big questions in life. For a nation that spends so much time seeking after happiness, is anyone actually happy? At the end of the day can anyone honestly say that they have arrived- that they have truly attained all that would make them happy?

I want something so much more than happiness for the people I love. I want them to live God-glorifying lives and to live forever in His presence when their time on this earth is finished. If that is the goal, we need to pursue something much more worthy than happiness, which will fade when real life hits. If you are living life to the full, you will probably have many unhappy times. What will replace the happiness is a peace because you know you are right with God. What results from peace is true joy, which is better than the momentary happiness of this world.

I want the people I love to have joy rather than happiness. When my friends choose men or women to spend their lives with I want them to focus on finding people who passionately love God. I do not wish for them to find guys and girls who "make them happy". There is so much more at stake than your happiness right now. Will he lead your home? Will she love you with a Godly submission? Would he die for you, as Christ did for the church? Will she raise your children for Heaven? Will he provide for you? Will she keep your home? Will he teach your children daily to love God? Is she worthy of praise? Is he a man after God's own heart? Read Ephesians 5:22-33.

"Godly marriages proceed from an obedient heart, and the greatest desire of an obedient heart is the glory of God, not the happiness of the household." -Douglas Wilson

When the people I love seek a church to worship with I don't want them to find a church that makes them happy. I recently heard about someone telling a group of young people to make sure the church they chose made them "comfortable". Well, it is not the church's main concern to make you comfortable or to make you happy. The Church's job is to glorify God and to save the lost. There is very little room for personal "happiness" when the goal is to please Jesus Christ, the One who died for the church, considering the fact that what makes me happy may be very different from what makes you happy. There is very little comfort in saving the lost from a dying world, when you consider that we are at war with the worst evil in existence in order to save those lost. But there is plenty of peace and joy in knowing that you are worshiping the Holy God the way HE loves to be worshiped. And there is plenty of peace and joy in knowing you did everything in your power to bring the lost to Him.

I fear that even the church has fallen into the happiness epidemic to some extent- adding all kinds of special groups, fun programs, and watered down teaching to draw more people in. If this culture of fun is supposed to save more people, why are the young people leaving in droves? Isn't the church making them happy enough? Or maybe there's something to be said about the simplicity of Biblical teaching and God-focused (rather than ME-focused) worship.

As the people I love choose a career/education path I do not want them to pick based on making themselves happy. I hope that they will choose their career based on the desire to use the talents and passions God has given them to glorify Him and to provide for the people they are responsible for.(1 Tim. 5:8)

When making entertainment choices, I hope the people I love will shun what is evil and cling to what is good. (Romans 12:9) The fact that a form of entertainment makes you happy is not enough of a reason to let sin into your life. It is not worth a laugh to be accepting of what you know to be wrong. Your soul is not worth losing over entertaining yourself for happiness rather than for edification.

I do not wish many friends upon the people I love for the purpose of happiness. The people you let intimately into your life will shape who you are. (1 Cor. 15:33) You may be happy and popular but headed toward destruction. It would be better to live without friends than to be led into a shallow lifestyle dependent on friendships. I want the people I love to be able and willing to stand alone when they have to. And I want them to cling to the edifying, true friendships they are blessed with- those friendships that lead them toward Heaven.

I don't want happiness from wealth for the people I love. (Mark 10:25) There is something to be said about living within your means and being content with "food and covering". (1 Tim 6:8) If you cannot have joy in poverty, you won't have happiness in wealth.

Chasing happiness leads to an unfulfilled and destructive life. Seeking to glorify God leads to a life of joy. Really, the truly happy times in life are a result of the true joy that comes from doing what's right- not from spending life in the pursuit of happiness.

So my hope for you is not a life filled with chasing happiness. I hope that you will chase after what you were created to accomplish. I hope you will pursue glorifying God with your life.

Eccl 12:13 The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commands, for this is the whole of man.

Call me a threat to national security...

http://gantdaily.com/2010/12/14/child-nutrition-law-supports-healthier-school-menus/

At the risk of aiding in the national security threat of obese children (as referenced by Mrs. Michelle Obama after her husband signed the new school lunch bill), let me tell you about "healthy" school lunches. Every day I serve 150+ middle school kids. They can choose from usually about 10 meal options. There are deli meals, grill meals, pizza, and "ala carte" options. To qualify for free, reduced, or school lunch prices the meal needs several components. Typically I serve a steamed vegetable with the main meal choices. With grill meals the kids get fries. With deli meals they get chips. The student then must pick up a juice or milk and we make the "assumption" that he or she also visits the salad bar.

You should see the looks I get when I put steamed broccoli on the tray next to macaroni and cheese. Sometimes I get loud protests of "I don't want the green beans!" My garbage disposal in the dish room eats more steamed vegetables daily than the entire student body combined. I don't blame them. I don't eat the steamed broccoli either.

As much as we post "Eat your green veggies!" signs all over the lunch room, I see an average of maybe 10 trays (out of approx 150) each day that have any evidence of having been anywhere near the salad bar. And the evidence is usually a half-eaten pile of baby carrots drenched in an ocean of Ranch dressing. Of course, the number jumps substantially when we put pudding on the salad bar. Then nearly every tray has obviously been there.

We are required to have daily vegetarian options. This includes pre-packaged salads, veggie wraps, etc. We throw them into the compost pile. All of them.

From the "higher up" folks we hear constantly, "Let's sell more school lunches!" and "Let's get those lunch counts up!" Let me tell you right now that my most faithful customers are those who come every single day for their pizza or cheeseburger or spicy chicken sandwich. Pizza comes with nothing other than a milk or juice and the potential of salad bar. Cheeseburgers and spicy chickens come with fries and salad bar. The kids who DO choose a main meal option (i.e. the meals that come with steamed veggies) are always happy to pay an extra dollar to add fries to their meal. My garbage disposal doesn't even know what a french fry looks like.

My second most faithful customers are those children who don't even buy school lunch. They just keep us in business by buying snacks: muffins, fruit roll ups, chips, popcorn, fruit by the foot, gushers, cookies, brownies, etc. They never ask to purchase the salad bar. Even when there's pudding.

So how exactly are we supposed to make our lunches more healthy than they already are? Serve MORE vegetables to the garbage disposal and compost pile? Take away the fatty Ranch dressing from the salad bar? Then kids won't even eat the carrots. And if you get rid of the pudding, few kids will even bother to check the salad bar in anticipation of pudding days.

I know exactly what will happen if we try to make school lunches more healthy. Our faithful customers will leave us for sack lunches filled with powdered donuts, fruit gushers, and sodas.

Good job, Mrs. Obama.

Embracing the Role of Helper

When you think of a strong, powerful, worthy woman- what do you think of? In the beginning God created man. But God saw that man was lacking something... someone. God then created woman from man, and thus began a beautiful love story that has continued through generations until now. God knew that Adam needed Eve.

Gen 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

Even from the very start we see two distinct roles given to man and woman. Man was created to lead. Woman was created to help. They complete one another. Things have not changed. Things have not changed because God knew then and knows now that His creations have true joy and purpose when they fulfill the roles that they were created to fulfill. He, our Creator, knows full well that we- through our roles- complete one another.

So I ask you again: when you think of a strong, powerful, worthy woman- what do you think of? I fear that today we see women imitating men and think that they have truly attained worth and strength. We see women pushing men into the role of coward and we think somehow that this makes those of our gender more powerful.

The truth is, women cannot fill the role of leader. Women are helpers. It's just a matter of helping well or helping badly. Men cannot fill the role of helper. They lead well or they lead badly- but they always lead. So what we have in our society is an excess of worthless leaders and failure helpers.

Are you helping the men in your life lead well? You cannot strip them of their role, because it was placed within them by God. If you are not helping them lead, you are failing at your role of helper and becoming a weak woman rather than a strong one. Women who spend their lives seeking to be what they are not- men- are weak in their purpose. We wonder where all the real men are as we trample them in our goal of becoming what they should be.

The role of helper is most clearly seen in the marriage relationship when a woman becomes a help-meet to her husband. But I believe that if God created women to be helpers, we have that responsibility in all stages of life. The role of help-meet to a husband is a specific and special role- different from that of helper to anyone else. But that does not mean that outside of marriage women are not to excel at helping those around them. When we choose to serve ourselves as unmarried women, perhaps attaining male-like character qualities, we miss out on what God has in store for us as women. He knows the innermost desires of our hearts and He has set before us a path where we can truly attain honor and glory through our service, and through our help to the men in our lives. I would like to state very clearly that even women who remain unmarried their entire lives should never be made to feel that they must fill a more masculine role to have worth. A lifestyle of godly femininity is something all women should seek.

It really doesn't matter what you or I think, or how we see women. What matters is how God sees us. Are we pleasing Him? Do we understand the role He has set before us and are we striving to do His will? Or are we giving into the lies of the world and forgetting why we were created? God said that He was creating a help-meet suitable for man. And we, women, were designed to be that help-meet. What can I do today to encourage the men in my church? How can I make sure my brother knows I support Him as he becomes a leader? Does my dad understand how much I appreciate his protection and leadership? How can I help them become even better men? Do I envy their role, or do I rejoice in the fact that God has placed good men in my life? If there are men in my life who are not leading well, do I try to steal their role or do I seek to encourage them to be better? Do I spend my life trying to be a man through my endeavors, or do I cherish the role God created me for?

Let us love and support and honor the men we have been blessed with. Let us spur them on in their role of leadership. Let us seek to raise up more Godly men. Let us do all of this instead of trying, and failing, to become men ourselves. Let's stop asking, "Where are all of the real men?" while we forsake our role of becoming real women. I hope we will embrace the job God gave us to do and pursue true womanhood. This is how we become strong, powerful, and worthy in His eyes.

Lessons from the Gray-haired Row

There is a very clear image in my mind of a man named Dean. On hands and knees, this old man worked his way up and down the narrow side aisles of the church building- scrubbing the base boards. There is another clear image in my mind of Dean, this time praying to his God with truth and reverence. Long, beautiful prayers. They were beautiful, but mostly because of the honesty coming straight from his heart. I can hear him sing hymns such as "The Old Rugged Cross" and "Up From the Grave He Arose" in his gruff bass, making melody in his heart to the Lord. I can remember sitting at his feet, so to speak, learning from his stories and jokes and the years of wisdom in his day to day conversations. He knew His God. He knew God's Word. How? Because he read it. He studied it. And he lived it.



Dean was one of a kind, but he is also one of many. One of many Godly men and women from past generations who knew their God and His Word. And as I think of them, there are no words to describe how extremely thankful I am. These are people who started congregations and strengthened the congregations they were in. They raised their children to know how to get to Heaven, and how to serve the church in the mean time. They taught Bible classes and cooked for potlucks.They scrubbed base boards and mowed church yards. They showed hospitality to their friends and neighbors, and to one another. They sat in business meetings,working out how to best use what God had blessed them with. They stood for what was Biblical and spoke against what was not- ensuring that we, the future generations, would have solid congregations to serve and worship with.



Maybe the best way to sum up my feelings toward these people is to quote from the Bible that they loved so much:



Philippians 1:3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.



And now as I look at my own generation, I see the result of their hard work and love. I see many strong congregations and I see people with a passion for serving their God. But I see something else that concerns me. I see an attitude of "Look how far WE'VE come! Look how educated WE are and look at what WE'RE discovering." Friends, there is nothing new under the sun. And we would do well to remember the people who set the foundation for where we are today in the Church.



I fear that we look at past generations and laugh. We laugh at their hymns and the words they use. We laugh at their methods of teaching and their understanding of the Scriptures. We laugh at them if they were "uneducated" and if they lacked a title. We laugh at their "rules" and the way they lived their lives and raised their children.



While we laugh, we're "coming up with" "new" ideas. We're so smart. We're so much more evolved than those old folks. Our "movements" are THE WAY to grow the church. Our state of the art preaching and teaching are such an improvement. Our contemporary singing and worship is so much more edifying! Our degrees and innovative educational endeavors are far superior. Right?



I would like to strongly disagree. As I said before, there is nothing new under the sun (Eccl 1:9). Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday and forever (Heb 13:8). Really, we're the same. We're all people and we all sin. We all need God and we can all be redeemed through His Son, Jesus Christ. We can be in Heaven with God at the end of this life if we do what He has told us to in His Word. And that hasn't changed. The knowledge we have about salvation- our brethren in past generations had that too. And it hasn't changed. There is nothing new-and-improved about it and it has not evolved. It was perfect from the start. And since this is the case, maybe we need to be looking to the gray haired in our congregations for leadership, ideas, wisdom and advice. After all, they are the ones with the years of study and service. They have been living it far longer than we have, and I'd be willing to bet (if I did that...) that they know a little (a lot) more than we do about life and godliness.



I'm writing this because of what I sometimes see in myself, and what I have recently seen as a problem in my generation. When something strikes me as interesting and convicting, it's easy to get caught up in excitement and think,"Wow! Look what I discovered!" Perhaps a better approach would be to ask someone who knows much more about Christianity than I do to study it with me and to give me sound advice and encouragement in my own study. They, the older generations, have earned this respect. And little do we know what we're missing out on if we over look them in our quest to reach the world for Christ.



There may be a lot more to the polyester, gray haired row in our buildings than we think. And, you know what? Hymns are no less holy than"praise" songs. Your degree and title mean very little if you can't take instruction from the wise. Your "movement" has been tried before- I bet the "old folks" have some pointers. Your teaching methods, if they teach the truth, are nice- but not any more so than the methods that have been successfully teaching the Word for years before you were born.



I would rather sit at the feet of Dean than the most innovatively-educated, modern-speaking, praise-song-singing, up-to-date, movement-following man from my generation. Let's learn from these older people while we can. Let's sit at their feet and humbly realize that we do not know it all.

Swing Life Away

What does it mean to live the simple life? I think it means having a child-like excitement about the everyday things.

I was recently introduced to the song Swing Life Away by Rise Against. The words that really jumped out at me are as follows:



We live on front porches and swing life away.
We get by just fine here on minimum wage.

Maybe nothing too profound. Except that no one seems to get it.

"We live on front porches and swing life away." I have this amazing memory from my childhood. This memory is of sitting on my friend Nancy's porch swing, drinking lemonade, and enjoying conversation with this sweet older lady. I have plenty of other memories of spending time swinging on her porch swing, enjoying the breeze on sunny days. Simple. But why does that memory stay when so many other childhood memories are gone? It was special to me as a child, and still is.

So living the simple life may mean having a child-like excitement about the things in life. But the problem is, I think even kids today are missing that. Working at a children's party facility opened my eyes to a whole world of materialism that I never would have imagined. To say it's wrong to have a fun birthday party jumping on inflatables with friends is not my goal, nor do I believe that. (I've had my fair share of parties there, and I enjoy the environment ; ) ) But coordinating the parties for two year olds with 30+ gift bearing friends is an experience. As the mom carries out a load of battery run gadgets, video games, and bicycles she often calls out, "Thanks! We'll be back next year!" I always wonder what will be left to give that child on his third birthday. A cell phone? What about his 10th birthday? A car?

It also makes me wonder if the two year old has any concept of the fact that a fun day can consist of sitting in a sand box with a cardboard box and a stick for hours on end. Or sitting on a porch swing drinking lemonade with an older lady.

A few months ago my friend Ray, an older gentleman in my church, was telling me about his birthdays as a child. He described walking down the stairs on the big day, his excitement growing with each step. The source of this excitement? When he got downstairs into the kitchen, his mom would give him a kiss, smile and say, "Happy Birthday. I love you!". And maybe, if it was a good year, there would be a cake in the oven.

I compare this to the chaotic party room filled with jealous, crying two year olds and the birthday boy, covered in a pile of expensive toys, who can barely open another gift because of the overwhelming environment. I compare a kiss on the cheek and a happy birthday wish from a loving mom to a party that eventually adds up to several hundred dollars EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. And it makes me wonder what is wrong with us. We've forgotten the joy of simplicity. Not only have we forgotten it, we have robbed our children of it.

"We get by just fine here on minimum wage." Contentment is not often the forte of the American people seeking the "American Dream", and beyond. But nothing is as satisfying as being content in "whatsoever state you are in". (Phil. 4:11) Maybe kids require a more extravagant birthday party every year because their parents require a more extravagant lifestyle every year. Maybe kids are discontent with their toys because parents are discontent with THEIR toys (a new car here, a new house there). Kids have been taught that happiness can be bought. And they've been taught that by example. In case you didn't know, happiness can't be bought. And that's why materialism never ends. We think, "Oh if I could just have or do THAT , I'd be happy." And once we have or have done THAT there is always another THAT to have or do. And so true happiness always barely escapes us because we throw out the contentment that happiness requires. Children have been blessed with a natural appreciation for the simple things. Let's learn from that instead of training them out of it.

My hope for my friends and family is that you would all love living simply and find happiness in the everyday things. I hope the kids in my life know what to do when they're handed a cardboard box. I hope they have experienced a world made out of rocks. I hope they know that a Weeping Willow tree can provide days of happiness and entertainment and that a sandbox is where the real fun happens. I hope they realize that a kiss and "Happy Birthday. I love you!" from mom is worth excitement in every step to get to it. And I hope they know that to swing life, or the afternoon, away on a porch swing with a glass of lemonade is happiness.

"... Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands..." 1 Thess 4:11

Love me or hate me. Take it or leave it. My thoughts on Twilight.

Twilight. As the next movie gets closer, I see the excitement rising from many of my girl friends. And shockingly, from some of my guy friends too. The guys I don't really understand, but I understand the following this series has from young women. I get the teeny-bopper girl appeal. Edward (in some sick way) is what girls want. He is a mysterious man who comes out of nowhere to love and rescue his girl.

I read all four books and I saw the first movie three times. That's when I started to realize that my Twilight obsession needed to end. Actually, that's not true. I realized my Twilight obsession needed to end a little ways into the first book. But Twilight, for me, was addicting. And it was the kind of book that I HAD to know the ending to. I couldn't put it down. I enjoyed it. Yet even as I enjoyed it I read it with a nagging feeling that maybe I shouldn't be enjoying it. I gave up the Twilight series- movies, books, Team Jacob fan club membership- all of it.

What do I have against Twilight? This could be a book.

I am no feminist, but I hate that the "heroine" is portrayed as weak and clumsy and that she finds her worth in a man (if you can call him a "man"). I hate that the book is so poorly written but somehow draws its readers in. I hate that Bella is so annoying. I hate that Edward sparkles. I hate that Jacob falls in love with a baby. I hate that Bella constantly has guys chasing her down. I hate the hundreds of millions of times that Bella refers to Edward as "god-like", "angelic", and "beautiful". I hate that it's somehow OK for Edward to switch moods and become angry for no reason. I hate that Jacob never seems to be able to find a shirt (we wouldn't want him to rip another one!). I hate that Bella is suicidal when Edward leaves her. I hate that Edward would like nothing better than to eat Bella because she is somehow extra tasty. I hate that Bella would be alright with being eaten. I hate that Bella uses guys to her own advantage and ditches them as she wishes. I hate that the human men in her life were not enough for her. And I HATE the "spida monkey" quote.

As you go to watch Eclipse, let me just give you a little food for thought. There are only two things I PASSIONATELY hate about the Twilight series.

The first is that for some reason the Christian community has adopted this series as pure and even as a Christian series.

Why? Because they wait until after they're married to have sex. But please tell me that we don't have that skewed of a view of purity. Purity is a lifestyle, before and after marriage. Purity does not equal not having sex before you're married.

Edward and Bella do not live a lifestyle of purity. They want to 1. have sex and 2. eat each other (perhaps another portrayal of sex, in the guise of sucking blood). The only thing that keeps them from this is Edward's morals, because Bella doesn't mind not waiting. They may have waited, but certainly not from a lack of dwelling on it.

In the 80s as homosexuality started creeping into our media and entertainment, Christians were concerned and made a stand. Now as occult, blood sucking, people/animal attraction themes enter our media and entertainment, Christians find a way to make it Christian! What will be next? And will we even notice?

Twilight is about lust. It is about lusting after what is forbidden- the forbidden fruit that has always haunted us and caused us to sin.

The second thing that I passionately hate about Twilight is that many say it has a prolife message. This, quite bluntly, makes me ill. Bella becomes pregnant with Edward's child- half human, half vampire. The baby is attacking/eating her from within but she "chooses life". PEOPLE, what is WRONG with us?! There are a lot of things I could say. But let us STOP comparing a monster vampire eating its mother from the womb and born in a blood bath to the prolife message. This does not help the prolife cause. This is not a prolife story. And to be honest, I'm offended when I hear that Twilight has a prolife theme.

All of that said, I actually don't have a problem with people going to see Eclipse. We all make movie choices daily. My personal choice is to stay away from Twilight because from past experience I know how involved I get in it. One thing I ask of the Christian community- please do not make the assumption or claim that Twilight is a good or Christian series because its pro abstinence and prolife. I would like to think that the Christian young women of today have purer thoughts and hearts than the so-called pure Bella Swan. I would like to think that the Christian young men of today are stronger leaders with more pure intentions toward their Christian sisters than the so called pure Edward Cullen. And I would like to think that the prolife movement has much more to stand on than the life of a monster baby eating its mom.

Oh, and I prefer UNsparkly men who actually wear shirts.

Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.