Just Saying...

Growing up as a "PK" (Preacher's Kid) I have much experience dealing with Church conflict. Especially considering that in my family there are no secrets. I mean that if something was happening in the Church, be it good or bad, we- even as children- knew about it. We watched my parents pray, discuss the situation, and seek counsel with others. They didn't go behind closed doors to discuss the problems in our congregation. In more recent years we have taken it upon ourselves to pray and seek solutions as well.

It is impossible to be part of a Church without conflict. What is the Church? The Church is a body of PEOPLE, united by baptism and forgiveness through the blood of Christ. But we are just that- people. You cannot be in any group of people for very long without problems. Take a look at the most basic unit of people, the family, and try to tell me there are not problems in groups of people. Also, take a look through the book of Acts, which shows us the very beginning of the Church. My dad likes to talk about the "GPS for the book of Acts". GPS stands for Global Positioning System (which I desperately need, as I find myself lost in the town I grew up in), right? Yes, but in the book of Acts GPS stands for "Growth. Problems. Solutions." Even at the very start of Christ's Church there were problems. God did not, however, leave his Church without solutions to these problems. Thank Him for His Word, the Bible.

I am writing this because lately I have been discouraged by how people see fit to treat the Church. People lie to and about the Church. They slander the Church. They make lame excuses for missing the assembly, thus discouraging their brothers and sisters who DO make it a priority to be there. They Church hop for unworthy reasons. They nitpick and cause dissension. They spread rumors for years after leaving a congregation, just to make themselves feel good.

Do I see this more because I'm in the middle of it as the preacher's kid? I honestly don't know. I have never been anything BUT the preacher's kid. What I do know is that this needs to stop.

Why does it need to stop? Because Jesus Christ gave his LIFE for HIS Church. He is the Head and the Church is the Body. He is the Bridegroom and the Church is the Bride. You cannot be in full fellowship with Christ while stepping all over His Bride. You can't have the Head without the Body. It just doesn't work that way.

This is a plea for several things, and it is not so much written to those who are NOT part of the Church, but to those that ARE part of the Church.

1. Attend the assemblies of the Saints. Yes, Sunday worship is commanded- two times Sunday and once on Wednesday may not be. But why miss out on encouraging your brothers and sisters? I will never understand the reasoning behind doing just enough to get by. And let me take it a step further. Are there Vacation Bible schools, prayer meetings, work days, encouragement meetings, business meetings, or teen events you are missing for one reason or another? Change your schedule to work around them. A church event is a CHURCH event. I don't care if it's for 2 year olds, 12 year olds, 17 year olds, or 80 year olds, I am SURE there is a way you can help out. You are part of the Church, no matter how old you are, and it should be your priority to be there.

Yes, I know there are valid reasons for missing the assemblies. But let me say that I believe there are VERY, very.. VERY few valid reasons. We live in a fast paced society and the Church has started to excuse absences for just about any reason. Think about your reasons. Really, are they worth not being with your brethren? Are they worth forsaking the assembly? I believe your brothers and sisters know if you really want to be there. And let's be honest, GOD knows your heart and if you really want to be there.

I could tell you stories of old women being CARRIED into every meeting of the Church because they were too weak to walk. But why? If you don't want to be there, you won't be.

2. Do not speak evil of or complain about the Church. There are times to speak out against something that has been done which is wrong. There is a time and a place to bring up concerns. But please do not speak evil of Christ's bride. Most men would not appreciate if you spoke evil of THEIR wives.

It amazes me how people can come up with reasons why someone caused them to leave the church, or a congregation. Probably because I'm in the preacher's family, I have had that finger pointed at me more than I would like to say. There are scriptural ways to approach a brother or sister if you have been offended. But could it be that these people KNOW that it is not any individual's fault, but would rather not be honest about their reasons for leaving? Which leads me to my next request.

3. Do not lie to the Church. You can lie by what you say, by what you do not say, and by what you do. Honesty always works. Leaving the congregation for one reason or another? Be honest. Couldn't make it to worship last Sunday because of a valid reason? Be honest. Skipped the assembly for a sorry reason? Be honest. Looking for a new church home? Be honest. Did a brother or sister hurt your feelings? Be honest. In all things JUST BE HONEST. I'm not sure how to state this any more plainly, except to say that it's wrong to lie to the Church. That about sums it up- from "little white lies" to huge lies, from deceit to misleading behavior- it's all wrong.

4. Make yourself accountable to a congregation. I know that it's fun to fellowship with brethren you don't always get to see, hear guest speakers at other congregations, and attend youth rallies. But it's important to be under the leadership of a congregation in order to be held accountable. This is not so much about not treating the Church badly. It's about keeping yourself safe from falling through the cracks. If you are constantly flitting around from congregation to congregation, how do the brethren at home know when to expect you and when not to? If every single special speaker or youth event in the area takes you away from your congregation, are the members at home supposed to call and check up on you? Your congregation NEEDS you to be with them.

5. Don't always look for the greener pastures. Church hopping is common. I'm not against looking at different options and finding the best fit. But find it, and work with it. Don't leave because of any little problem. Don't look at what such and such congregation is doing and wish you were there. Focus on where you are and make it the best it can be. Use your talents and abilities to encourage the congregation you are in. Again, I realize that there are good reasons to leave a particular congregation. But when you make a commitment to a congregation, any little problem should not be a reason to leave. Any exciting possibility at another congregation should not draw you away.

All in all, LOVE Christ's body, His Bride- the Church. When we can look at a group of imperfect people and love them anyway, we have become like Christ. When we can deal with problems within that group of people without tearing each other apart or giving up on one another, we have attained true discipline. When we can speak only good and great things about Christ's Church, He is pleased. When we learn to simply BE THERE, we encourage the Church. When we're honest no matter what, we can truly trust one another.

Remember, you cannot have the Head without the Body. Nor can you have the Bridegroom without the Bride. Love and respect the Church.

Rev 19:7 Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.