Miranda Rat

When you graduate, you get used to questions like, "What are you going to do now?" and "What school are you going to?" That seems fine and good...for about a month. Then it gets old. Many people have a definite answer... most probably the school they'll be attending, their major, etc. I had no such answer. "I'm not going to school." was my answer for a while. My answer to "What are you going to do now?" was something like, "Uh..nothing much different." Either that, or I would pull out one of the things I'm "doing"- an educational endeavor, job, or whatever came to mind at the moment. But that one thing never seemed to sum up my life- what I'm doing.

Here's the problem. I've been graduated for TWO YEARS now and these questions have not stopped. The problem is not that I'm doing nothing. The problem IS what people have come to expect as an answer- where I am going.

What am I doing? A few weeks ago someone asked me again what school I'm going to. When I said that I'm not, he asked what I'm doing. I scramble for answers a lot. How can I relate "what I'm doing" to this particular person? Are they looking for education answers? Job answers? Hobby answers? Interest answers? I stopped scrambling. Instead, I answered "I'm living." To which he replied something along the lines of, "Yeah, I don't do much either."

Well, obviously, my somewhat smart alec answer didn't get me far. I went on to explain that my life includes a lot of things. But how do you describe what you're doing in one sentence? I'm living my life. I'm trying my best to serve God with it. I realize that my beliefs are different, and that's probably why I have a hard time putting into words what my plans are.

A few years ago a series of events, books, prayer, and discussion convicted me of something. I became convicted of the fact that my life is not mine. I realized that there is a great plan for my life. I learned that I needed to let go of plans to prosper myself. I looked to God's Word to find what I, personally, was meant to do. I prayed and talked with my family. First of all, we decided that I wouldn't be GOING anywhere. God placed me in a family, and that is where I intend to stay. See, I think God is all powerful and wise. He knows us- what we desire, what we need. He knows how to prosper us. I find that my role is to be a Godly daughter and, Lord willing, wife someday. But the "wife someday" aside, what is my role? My role is to prepare.

How can I prepare? This was a question that bugged me almost constantly. What can I do with my time- with my life at this moment- to prepare. Well, first of all I needed to realize that even if I never GET MARRIED, there's a plan for me. So maybe the best preparation is to understand that serving my family is a high calling. This was the main reason I decided against GOING. I want to stay.. to be HERE, with my family, to serve them. However, I've found that being with them blesses me more than I can ever bless them with my presence.

When looking through God's Word, we can find how to fulfill our role at any stage in life. Children obey your parents. Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives. What I found in the books written by the christian community was a great lack of information on one stage in life- that of the adult, unmarried daughter. Actually, instead of a lack of information I found a lack of BIBLICAL information. The role of the unmarried adult daughter is assumed, by the Christian community, to be a time of finding yourself and showing your independence. This doesn't seem much different than the world's plan for this stage in life. This stumped me for a while. But I came to understand that God didn't leave anyone out. He didn't leave us blind in this world, wondering what to do. He didn't give us permission to seek after the world's plan for success for a season, and then somehow hope to return to God's plan for success when we say "I do". Christian young women are already FOUND, with no need to find themselves. And I can't find in God's Word where it says that we are meant to be independent- at any stage in life. So what is the unmarried Christian daughter to do? Why would she do anything different? If God didn't specifically point out "at eighteen year old graduation, do such and such", then maybe she's meant to do what she's been doing all along. That is, obeying her parents, preparing for a future family, serving the Church, etc. The change in her life comes when she submits herself in marriage to a Godly man- transferring her submission from her father to her husband. Never is there a time when the daughter becomes her own Spiritual authority. From what I can find, her role starts with "Honor your father and mother." and then becomes "Submit to your husband." I can't find an in between stage of "Submit to your own authority". Once a young woman has become independent of her family, it has to be just that much harder to return to the role of submission once she's married.

Preparation. Many see college as preparation for their future. And who am I to say that it's not? My personal convictions are just that- personal. So anyone reading this should realize that this is MY response to the questions I get. This is not a sermon of conviction to others.

For me, college would be the opposite of preparing. What do I seek to achieve? I seek to be a Godly daughter (first to my heavenly Father, and then to my earthly parents- who were given to me to send me toward my heavenly Father). I seek to be a Godly sister. I seek to be a Godly friend, coworker- you name it. What is my long term goal? To be a Godly wife and mother. Let me make it clear- personally, I see NO BETTER WAY to prepare to be a Godly wife and mother than to use my time becoming a Godly daughter and sister.

Career. What a word! People ask me often, "Well what do you want to DO?". They're referring to what career I want. Short, sweet and to the point- I don't want a career. That isn't my goal.

College. It prepares you for a career. As I have said before, I want to be a Godly wife and mother someday. My first priority is making sure that I can someday put my kids first- raising, training and educating them with the bulk of my time. So college, first of all, would train me for an occupation that I would neglect once children came into the picture- maybe even before children if the occupation kept me from focusing on my home.

College also takes lots of money. Money that I don't have. So not only would it train me for a career that I wouldn't use for long- it would put me into debt for this training. Debt that might cause me to continue working at the career I don't want in order to pay off the training I needed for the career I don't want...

Instead I've decided to work and save my money. I have several jobs that don't require a college degree. I have been so immeasurably blessed with jobs that I love- jobs that help me further my goal. I hope that the money I save will be put to good use in the first few years of my marriage, or even set aside for a down payment on a house. To put it simply, I don't know how the money will be used. But I know it will go further if I save it now instead of spending it on career training when my life goal doesn't include that career.

A keeper at home...a helpmeet. I can cook and clean and educate kids. I can sew (sort of) and my ironing skills are pretty good. But being a keeper at home is more than just keeping the house itself. A young woman can have these skills but not understand the lifestyle of a keeper at home. With all the pressure to "succeed", and my own selfishness, I sometimes find myself waivering. I find myself seeking after experiences, education, relationships, etc. that do not further my lifestyle of a helpmeet and keeper at home. But why seek after something- pouring time, money, effort and emotions into it if it does not further my goal. Why put so much into something when I don't believe that it is part of God's plan for my life?

So what am I doing? I'm seeking after education, experiences, ministry opportunities, relationships, jobs, hobbies and interests that help me achieve my goal of becoming a helpmeet and servant. A helpmeet first to my dad, mom, sister and brother with the hope of someday being the wife and helpmeet of a Godly man. A servant to the church and to everyone around me. That is what I'm doing. :)